Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
