I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
