ya dads aren't the best wingmen
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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