Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
