if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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