there was a trapeze. enough said
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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