No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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