i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Randomize
