Do you still have your period?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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