On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
