He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
