i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
