i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
