Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you traded sex for a burrito?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
