The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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