They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
