You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize