hotel room ftw
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
