i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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