apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
