Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
