Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
