wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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