Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
