Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
