And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
