East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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