dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize