dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
