Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
