Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
