She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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