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Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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