remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
