why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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