i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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