I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
