C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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