I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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