This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize