I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
