youre lurking in front of me
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
