Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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