the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
