I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
