they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
