I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
