I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
