On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
