I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
