haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
