Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
