I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Let's get the cat blown out
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize