Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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