I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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