I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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