I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
