I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
