hotel room ftw
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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