I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
