There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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