you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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