I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just want nice things and good sex
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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