I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize