There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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