Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize